| DEAD ACRES: How
do I even begin to describe this place? Annually ranked among the
best haunted houses by OHIO VALLEY HAUNTS, and everyone else in the industry,
Dead
Acres is an experience you just have to see to believe! Huge
silos guard the queue line area, blasting flames skyward like beckoning
searchlights advertising what’s arguably the most impressive haunted attraction
in the Midwest. Giant monsters sit perched atop the roof glaring
down from above, and irate roaming creatures interact with guests waiting
to set foot into an adventure that won't soon be forgotten. An absolutely
horrific surprise waits just inside the doors, followed by an all out assault
by a gang of uncontrolled hoodlums carrying knives, chainsaws, and whatever
else they can get their hands on to initiate the war zone that lays ahead
known as the Haunted Hoochie. Caskets surrender restless,
undead souls, that clutch and claw at passersby, as gigantic vampire bats
flap their impressively enormous wings, and a multitude of enraged inhabitants
burst through previously closed doors, and lunge out of windows and drop
down wall panels, touching and pulling on all who dare enter their domain.
Hallways burn like a raging wildfire, as flames shoot up from windows,
the corridor fills with smoke, and a child's voice is heard pleaing for
her mother to somehow locate her, and save her from the blazing inferno!
Escaping the holocaust brings about a butchered pig maze that leads into
the treacherous scene of a hopelessly restrained victim having his legs
amputated by a merciless psychopath armed with a circular power saw!
Onward you go into a brand new clown area, where Pop Goes The Weasel
capitulates
to heavy metal, and the storming aggression of an assemblage of incensed
circus rejects! More attrocities lurk in the darkness, including
a giant, mist-spraying mechanical serpent that springs to life right before
your very eyes; an up close and personal confrontation with an animated
headless horseman; an unexpected invasion by a previously extinct T-Rex
dinosaur; dangerous dragons; an enormous, animated Impaler that suddenly
awakens looking to devour anything in his path; and a gigantic pterodactyl
sporting an ungodly wingspan who’s just as defiant as his aforementioned
counterparts! Playing off these numerous mechanical distractions,
Hell-bent characters spring forth from more secret panels, grab at visitors'
legs, and reach down from the rafters above! Screaming, scantily
clad victims plead with their inhumane assailants for mercy, and incarcerated
prisoners shake the bars of their cells to the very foundation before ultimately
breaking free in an alarm sounding, unrelenting jailbreak that places customers
squarely in the path of the oversized convicts intent on revenge!
Escaping to an outdoor area provokes a number of ferocious fiends, some
leaping from surrounding waters, and others armed with chainsaws that they
readily place directly against your legs! A plethora of sparks spew
forth everywhere as atrocities continue to mount taking the form of a demented
dentist subjecting his helpless patient to a blood squirting extraction;
then an abhorrent torture chamber that witnesses a harnessed victim being
sodomized by an outlandishly large, motorized drill; followed by a barbaric,
demonic childbirth taking place at the hands of a degenerate OBGYN, seen
slapping the mother to be, ordering her to PUSH, then finally running out
of patience and inducing labor with his oversized hammer! These
appalling abominations give way to a brief darkened entrapment that finds
a crazed, homicidal madman suddenly appearing out of the lightlessness
with a murderous chainsaw that he uses to on some blinded captive, who
suffers the obscene fate of having his skull viciously ripped in two by
the loudly revving blade, and his spine plucked completely out of his body!
Seconds before the maniacal lunatic can bring someone else to a similar
despicable demise; a previously barricaded door suddenly opens, revealing
a fence maze that houses a rabid, restrained dog, and enraged, multiple
chainsaw chase-out of the world’s most extreme haunted house, Dead Acres!
Analysis:
LENGTH - 9, Exactly 20 minutes.
ACTORS - 10, Grotesque make-up and elaborate costuming.
Aggressively and abusively intense from start to finish with repeated
grabbing and touching, and life-threatening dialogue! Much of the
crew is armed with a variety of deadly weapons. Chainsaw lunatics
actually rubbing their gas guzzling noisemakers up against your legs is
beyond comparison! Total Characters = 91!!!!
SCARINESS - 10, Numerous distractions provided
by more animated props than you'll see anyplace else, and perfectly capitalized
upon by the energetic cast. Very little in the form traditionally
spooky music, but the soundtrack is designed to compliment the intense
nature of the haunt, which it dramatically accomplishes. Non-stop startles,
both human and pneumatic wreck havoc on your senses, destroy your emotions,
and cause you to fear for your life!
DESIGN - 9½, Nearly beyond description!
Course is similar to the last few years, supplemented with a few new scenes
and skits. Mechanical props provide plenty of scares that set up
the large cast of dejected actors, who are well concealed and anxious to
pounce, intimidate and pursue! Cabin and authentic outdoor construction
is outstanding. The final maze itself isn't all that difficult, and
remains unchanged, but contains a few dead ends, and is so chaotic in nature
as a result of “too close for comfort” confrontations with chainsaw
packing savages that everyone's ready to find the way out.
The popularity of the attraction itself results in long, early arriving
lines that in turn increase group size, which potentially dampens the experience.
PROPS - 10, Jammed with an overwhelming number of animated
scares, including Tyrannosaurus-Rex, and others enjoying their debut
season! Scenes meticulously detailed and and skits are legitimately
believable. Once they get you inside, someone or something interacts
with you practically throughout. Shock walls, claustrophobic air
bags, and CGI are absent, but would potentially slow down flow - something
they can't afford given the large crowds.
VALUE - 9½, Somewhat on the expensive side and
a $3 parking surcharge, but quite possibly the best haunted attraction
around.
RATING: 9½, It doesn't get much better
than this! If you've never visited, imagine the best haunted house
you've ever been to on steroids, and you've got Dead Acres!
The most action packed adventure in the state of Ohio features impressive
animatronics, and some of the most highly motivated characters the industry
has to offer. This powerful combination makes for an absolutely overwhelming
experience that’s not to be missed! Ohio Valley Haunts’ 2006
HAUNT OF THE YEAR is always one of the preseason favorites to take home
top honors. Get to Dead Acres for THE Haunted House experience
of a lifetime! Nearly everything else pales in comparison.
Note: Tickets go on sale at 8 PM, but the
attraction rarely gets going earlier that 9:00. But lines form early,
so plan ahead, and take this into consideration when visiting. |
| BAD TRIP IN 3D: Special
glasses are worn to create the illusion of 3 dimensional effects that appear
as objects protruding from florescently walls and props. Obnoxious
sounds, and loud intimidating music accompany the journey that pays tribute
to elaborately disfigured contortions, and some interacting clowns.
Scenes include a 3D slaughtered hog maze, active "cyclops" eyes that follow
your every move, spinning vortex, and man-eating venus flytraps that carnivoriously
devour humans near the exit of Bad Trip in 3D.
Analysis:
LENGTH - 5½, Only 6 minutes.
ACTORS - 7, Not nearly as impressive as their Haunted
Hoochie counterparts. Great costumes and masks, but no one really
stands out. Total Characters = 13
SCARINESS - 5½, Three dimensional clown houses
are a tough sell to begin with, and placing this one up alongside the world's
most extreme haunt gives it even bigger shoes to fill. Need more
threatening characters and addional startles to elevate the score.
DESIGN - 8, Somewhat more elaborate and devious than
conventional 3D attractions, especially evidenced by the various clown
contortions that line the course. Its short duration is the main
limiting factor, and the finish is weak.
PROPS - 8, Special 3D effects are well done, and some
animatronics to boot. Pig maze, venus flytraps, wandering "eyes"
and clown figures are most unique, and leave the most lasting impression.
Could use some additonal surprises like falling ceilings, smashing walls,
etc. to up the score.
VALUE - 7, Costs an extra $8 and you know going in it
can't possibly hold a candle to the star of the show. Your call.
RATING: 7, This secondary attraction
serves to support the main event, and give customers another alternative
when visiting Dead Acres. |
