 THE
HAUNTED CAVE: Spooky music plays,
blood runs down the hillside, and fortune teller
Madam Macabre conducts
mysterious palm readings along the 80 foot descent into the bowels of the
Earth where Lewisburg's
Haunted Cave lies buried in an abandoned
old limestone mine. Capturing the prestigious Haunt of the Year
award from Ohio Valley Haunts the past two seasons, The Cave is
indisputably one of the most impressively authentic haunts in the entire
world! A dedicated attendant, dressed in miner's attire recites warnings
about endangered bats that reside within, only to be interrupted by an
apparent electrical failure that deprives the queue line of lights, and
leaves patrons hopelessly stranded in total darkness until restoration
of power initiates the actual exploration. Frightening music, clasps
of thunder, intermittent lightning strikes, and pitch blackness initiate
the adventure across a lengthy wooden plank-like walkway, where sudden
surprises begin to emerge from surrounding underground lakes courtesy of
unseen, amphibious Water Monsters splashing around in their subterranean
lagoon, grabbing at the legs of passersby, and tugging them closer and
closer toward their aquatic abode! Dense fog engulfs the ambience
as lightlessness fades, the storm subsides, and audio enhancement assumes
a more sinister tone in accordance with a piercing alarm that summons undead
zombies out of an overgrown area of vegetation that overspreads the course,
and a ferocious mechanical dinosaur unleashes a space invading attack that
pins patrons up against a trailing restraint! Firecrackers encourage
continuance onto a blood-spattering CGI surprise that exits past a double-team
skeleton tug-of-war with an innocent victim, a succession of animated startles,
and incinerating flames into an eerily lit swamp that invites multi-sided
invasions out of the encompassing murk! Drudging forward through
the ensnaring quagmire eventually leads to higher ground, where a proliferation
of spider webs protect chained, rattling caskets that vibrate of their
own accord in accompaniment to hands reaching down from above; a talking
skull conveying a blessing or curse; and more upright, thrashing coffins
that guide the way beyond a hanged body, and through an actual iron gate
to a bone-chilling, candle lit cemetery! An abandoned, old shack
finds rats, majestic monuments, and rocking tombstones, saluting the arrival
into the clutches of a desolate, Latin-speaking priest, whose unrighteous
ceremony condemns visitors to "the damnation of the fires of Hell!"
Bones and human remains are strewn about the abundance of eternal tombs
and gravestones, as ungodly music exposes a pair of forsaken gravediggers
promising to "take your soul!" Out of the shadows comes a skirmish
with a disarrayed ghillie monster; haunting, hovering ghosts; an astonishing
overhead grim reaper zip-line surprise; a run-in with Dr. Hoot that
witnesses him shooting a corpse attempting to escape a grave; hissing snakes;
and a bilateral casket interaction on behalf of a couple of frantic necros
upset that their mortality is being defiled by infesting worms! A
multitude of mechanical surprises chaperone the path into a mausoleum of
death showcasing a drop down panel that gives rise to a most contemptible
animated contortion, then it's onto a wicked laboratory of glass enclosed
specimens, sheets covering the deceased, lifeless body bags, and an abhorrent
witch-doctor-like prop regurgitating blood! A carnivorous mad scientist
nauseatingly consumes the intestines of an agonizing gal that orders her
predator "Get off me!" Then a gurney is encircled to observe another
researcher's latest invention that quickly deteriorates into another devastating
surprise! Living walls, and more sliding panels guard the transition
into a lengthy prison experience that commences with being searched and
frisked for weapons, then proceeds into a jail cell that accesses a torture
chamber/asylum-like wing of cell blocks where inmates are straight-jacketed,
shocked, and incarcerated against their will! Individuals are handcuffed
by Officer Badd and her accomplices, then hurried into a police
dog assault that ushers in a brutal altercation with an oversized, bloody-mouthed,
axe wielding escapee that erupts into machine gun crossfire from a near
miss hit-and-run! Departure through a darkened maze elicits whispers
of "you're gonna die!" and "see you in the afterlife!" as the route forges
onward to the scene of a car crash, and a rope climbing gargoyle/bat-like
creature with a death grip on some human prey! Freddie Kruegger
commandeers a school bus that's traversed én route to a skeleton/corpse-like
piggy back ride that stands to commemorate a memorable OVH tumble!
Remnants of fur from a previous capture lead onto a bridge evoking battles
with a colossal, big-toothed monster, and a huge mechanical bat sporting
an enormous wing span! Furtherance is compromised by a treacherous,
path blocking stalk-about that springs to life as sudden buzzing prompts
oscillating floors, a covert arachnid incursion, a defiant crimson-eyed
encroachment, and riotous muggings at the hands of hooded cretins
armed with taser-like boomsticks! Unsure footing, a tumbling barrel
maze, deafening horns, and gunshots herald the unveiling of an axe toting
girl unleashing a murderous attack to the accompaniment of another CGI
surprise that yields through darkness, supplemental grasps from bound detainees,
and forceful blasts from air cannons into a fog-filled fence maze entrapment
illuminated only by flickering strobes! Characterized by limited
visibility, numerous loops and limitless dead ends where "Left is always
right, and right is never wrong," the fatal labyrinth provides residence
to lethal, misdirecting fiends with red, laser-like projections emitting
from their fingertips that further confuse navigation. Wavering sirens,
alerts, and alarms fill the air while wandering about aimlessly for what
seems like forever eventually uncovers an obscure passage that dumps into
the depths of Hell! Verbal, voice enhanced threats ensue from
the mighty Lucifer and his flaming-handed Soulburner as they
defiantly condemn those whose sins above have caused them to fall below
for all eternity! "Burn in Hell!" mobilizes a sparking chainsaw
aggression that unites with scorching flames that rocket skyward inaugurating
a challenging excursion through persecuting paths of dead ends and claustrophobic
loops through
Anguish,
666, Anxiety, 7, and
Exit?
in search of a lone escape route hindered by darkness, flashing lights,
spongy floors, sparks, more chainsaws, and multiple suffering encounters
with The Prince of Darkness and his band of demonic followers!
A second centralized room of subsequent paths is finally revealed, and
the hopeless exercise in futility continues into Suffering, Absolution,
Diabolical,
and Torment as probing a ghost apparition; more firecrackers and
claustrophobic traps; rabid dogs; a squeeze wall; and a myriad of fuming
villains confound the entanglement through Desolution and Despair
until eventual redemption to freedom is ultimately divulged in parallel
with some hapless, subdued stooge suffering the catastrophic fate of being
chainsawed in half, in advance of a spinning vortex send-off from The
Lewisburg Haunted Cave!
Analysis:
LENGTH - 10, Easily in excess of an hour! (Officially,
our time was 1:00 on the nose!)
ACTORS - 9+, Cast size is unmatched! Better acting,
dialogue, and taunting antics from Devil and SoulBurner debuted
last season, and continue into 2012! Their make-up is the best it's
ever been, which is representative of an across the board improvement for
the most part. Actor interaction is on the rise, which is good. Lit
Maze actors did a much better job asserting non-stop misdirection,
calling us all by name, and offering to show us a "shortcut!" Latin
speaking Priest is fantastic, and cleverly foreshadows the deliverance
to Hell!
Madame Macabre's performance is outstanding, and
Water
Monster
engagements are as unseen, intimidating and threatening in
nature. Whispers of "you're gonna die/afterlife" in the dark,
Gravedigger's
promise to "take your soul," CGI axe girl deciding "you deserve
to die!" and so on are extreme positives! Jail crew remains strong
too, although
Law is awol, and Lewis Deburg is conspicuous
by his absence outside the attraction as well. On the down side,
some of the remaining dialogue continues to be fairly week. Give
them credit for trying, but "Alright, I need you to stop right here for
a minute" at first CGI then repeating "alright" twice more should be replaced
by some sort of
action, physical accost, or intense command to pay
attention to what's about to transpire. The placement of a barricade
or actor at that particular location is vital in order that patrons stop
to watch the CGI, but the engagement needs to become more sinister, not
comedic, and it's followed by someone trying to deliver a scare in street
clothes without so much as a costume or make-up. "What are you doing
in my graveyard/hospital?" etc., "Don't pollute my cave!" are all lackluster
and meaningless. These and similar clichés are far too common
in haunts, as is "stay and play, " which thankfully wasn't heard in The
Cave! Lab victim (that called it a hospital) gave an otherwise
enthusiastic performance. Encircling the wagon so to speak is a novel
idea in the
lab, but shouting a group "hello" serves no purpose,
and the scene also utilizes a child actor, which is never scary. Axe
girl wardrobe miscue from a year ago has been corrected (she's now
clad in white to match her CGI counterpart), and the element of touch legitimizes
the overall experience making it that much more realistic. Continued
costume improvements will be beneficial, and more violent conflicts like
the jail search would up the score. Total Characters = 81 (down from
111 a season ago), but still an overwhelming number!
SCARINESS - 10, The Cave is arguably the most
legitimately spooky environment in the industry! The authenticity
of the setting is second to none, as is the duration of the experience!
Music is creepy, and sets an appropriate mood. Touching unsuspecting
customers is the ultimate invasion, and coming face to face with The
Devil himself is an unsurpassable scare.
DESIGN - 9½, The actual layout of the course hasn't
changed significantly, but practically each and every defect discussed
in this section last year has received attention! The attraction
is genuinely scary and intense from start to finish, and length is second
to none. Cemeteries are exquisite, jail is active, and Devil and
his Demonic Soulburner among others acknowledged above are well
versed. Sacrificial Ceremony has been lost, but its replacement
(Priest condemning you to "the damnation of the fires of Hell")
is arguably more powerful, and certainly more unsettling! Water
monsters provide more than a memorable beginning, live zombie attack
is perfectly placed directly in advance of a similarly themed CGI,
actors that accompany CGI's are appropriately dressed, and Hell has
been expanded to encompass five initial passageways that appropriately
serve to dash hopes of achieving success! Soundtrack is nightmarish
throughout - spooky at the start (although still a little shy on volume),
disorienting in the devil maze, abominably unnerving (and loud)
in the cemetery, and disturbingly intimidating in the light maze featuring
a creepy rendition of Ring Around the Rosie! Visibility there
is practically nonexistent due to fog density and strobes, and only flaw
resulted from group separation, which is a good thing at first, but needs
to be resolved prior to moving onto the next scene, which it was not.
Misdirecting fence maze crew properly insure that all the dead ends and
loops are explored, sometimes more than once, before permitting groups
to succeed, and masked chainsaw fiend gave a dominant performance defying
anyone to make their way out of Hell! Theme interruptions
present in 2011 (Naughty school bus, rock-n-roll infirmary, and
fence maze beggar) have been ousted, (to repeat, futile attempts at humor
don't belong in this attraction!) Sound leakage from jail into fence
maze entrance seems to have been addressed as well. Having a gravedigger
named Dr. Hoot doesn't make sense, nor does group "hello,"
which serves no purpose (as already mentioned). Entrance to swamp
is extremely slick, and the airbags were a little on the loose side.
An interactive feature that actually gets customers involved in a scare
or two (moreso than jail/asylum) would be an interesting addition.
The attraction continues to begin in subtle darkness, and climax in utter
chaos with the only potential shortcoming arising from anyone that's left
in the mazes too long and wears out their welcome.
PROPS - 10, Latest technological advances and scares
are always on display in The Cave, and new mechanical monsters have
arrived for 2012 including a a dinosaur that invades the path as people
walk by! Tug-of-war is new too, as are multiple drop-down panels
and their coinciding surprises. Shack is an impressive sight, but
underutilized. Laser gloves are unique, and an awesome asset to the
fence maze. Thunder and Lightning remains quite complimentary, vibrating
floor is relentless, sparking chainsaw is one-of-a-kind, swamp is unforgettable,
and soundtrack in general is fabulous and scary! Electrical firecrackers
are used profusely, and their presence is especially appreciated as reflections
to the supposed short-circuit that befell the beginning. Several
cars, and a real school bus are also present, lab prop regurgitating
blood is memorable, and fire is effectively used on a couple of occasions,
and is realistically impressive. Smoking jailbreak CGI has
been removed from bridge, but it's not really missed.
VALUE - 10, A $2 price increase has been implemented
this season, but cost is still a bargain by today's standards - only
$14 with their website coupon, which grants access to a 60+ minute excursion
through one of the region's best haunted attractions!
RATING: 9½ (9.75), Consecutively
winning Ohio Valley's Haunt of the Year in 2010 and 2011, The
Cave returns to defend its crown once again with a course formerly
recognized by Guinness as the "Longest walk-through horror house"
in existence. Legitimacy and authenticity are unmatched making this
a must see attraction! Spooky scares, challenging mazes, and an ultimate
climax with The Devil in Hell make the The Cave nearly
impossible to beat when it comes to value, and annual top honors! The "bang
for your buck you get here is second to none! When visiting, don't
forget to stop by and pick up some inexpensive snacks from "Mama Cat" at
the concession stand before leaving The Haunted Cave, where getting
in is easy, but getting out may KILL you! |
