| THE HAUNTED HOTEL: New,
animated eyes peer through the upstairs windows stalking your every move
as you approach The Haunted Hotel. The action-packed adventure
begins in a rickety, old elevator, where atrocious sounds set the stage
for the downward spiral that's about to begin, and from which there's no
escape! The devious looking attendant, his head wrapped in barbed
wire, selects your floor, and the old, run-down hoist begins violently
shaking and thrashing about; its panel board lights flickering off and
on! Repeated power failures bring the old transport box to screeching
halts leaving passengers stranded in total darkness that enables the evil-minded
operator to assume a new, more threatening perch! But, he always
manages to get it going again, and a few terrorizing surprises later, you're
delivered to the insanity of a psych ward, where an irrational, wheelchair
bound patient rants and raves, and a most impressive surprise originates
from behind a restricted door! Exiting the chaos brings about hellacious
encounters with mist spraying monsters, shock walls,body bags, the bloody
handprints of previous tenants, and barbaric executions all accompanied
by unfathomably frenzied characters, and the most offensive soundtrack
imaginable! Things are no better upstairs, where subtle music gives
way to all-out assault, as "Rock-a-bye Baby" succumbs to heavy metal in
the Circus sideshow presentation of Death, highlighted by unstable
floors, blasting air guns, flashing strobes, and an exasperated clown swinging
a baseball bat destroying everything in his sight! The Hotel’s signature
scene of a "naked" girl showering behind a curtain delivers yet another
startling surprise prior to the return of even more inconceivable
persecution that takes the form of a hideous childbirth; an abysmal suicide;
a despicable, murderous Santa delivering chainsaw-laden "rewards" to good
little girls and boys, rather than presents under the tree; and still more
unforeseen mechanical bombshells that take dead aim on the unsuspecting!
Pursuit from more relentlessly deranged savages, each armed with his own
deadly weapon of choice eventually leads outdoors to a claustrophobic passage
that hides an Al-Qaeda attack before initiating a blackened, fog-filled
maze housing laser lights, a spinning vortex, hit and run driver, rabid
dog, sniper fire from a blasting maching gun, and the obligatory triple
hell-bent chainsaw chase-out onto Heywood Ave. outside The Haunted Hotel.
Analysis:
LENGTH - 8, approaching 15 minutes.
ACTORS - 10, As is customary, all
characters are aggressive beyond belief – intense, armed with a multitude
of deadly weapons, and covered with blood! THE most threatening crew
in the business! Practically all are potential candidates for ACTOR
OF THE YEAR! Elevator attendant, Clown, and chainsaw maze lunatics
leave the most lasting impressions. Total Characters = 21.
SCARINESS - 10, Abominable, chaotic
scenes and startling surprises join forces with intimidating, "in your
face" acting that scares the life right out of you, and makes you reevaluate
your options for survival.
DESIGN - 9½, Some fresh,
new rooms debut along with the return of several favorites nearly every
one of which lures you into a false sense of security before all Hell breaks
loose! Mechanical, reptilian monsters have been introduced to guard
both sides ascent up the staircase. Fog has returned to the maze.
Accompanying psych ward character looks like the "surprise" come to life!
The hotel theme doesn't really hold throughout, but this is the most vicious
haunted house in the world! It's length is its weakest link.
PROPS - 9½, Numerous animatronics
delivering the best timed scares in the business, perfectly setting up
the cast of overzealous killers. Crew is equipped with a smorgasbord
of weapons, and they're not afraid to use them! Asylum surprise is
a must see. Machine gun looks and sounds legit. Laser lights
piercing the fog in the maze is among the new additions, and quite an impressive
sight. Elevator is arguably the best scare in the industry.
VALUE - 10, $15 ($2 coupon valid
on Thursdays and Sundays) for new scenes and THE most intense characters
and scares around!
RATING: 9½,
The defending champ! Total assault, all the time! This perennial
HAUNT OF THE YEAR contender is back with fresh, new scenes, once again
stamping its patented Haunted Network brand of intensity and excellence
on the haunted house industry for all to see. Group size is
held to a minimum in order to insure that everyone gets to experience every
single startle and scare equally. If we could visit only one haunted
house each Halloween season, this would be it! By all means, plan
a visit to Louisville Kentucky, and check into The
Haunted Hotel. |
