| MISERY MANOR: Stepping
into the darkened, voice distorted world of Misery Manor finds a
life-size jack-in-the-box waiting just inside the door. Turning its
crank produces a rather sinister version of Pop Goes The Weasel
until hitting a sour note conjures up a violent surprise! Ducking
and fleeing into a tunnel brings about a face to face, voice synthesized
entrapment with a demonic spirit seated upon a throne, and an all-out chainsaw
assault that chases you into the waiting arms of Jason Voorhees!
Eluding the masked killer and his murderous blade leads to a double bedroom
surprise that's accompanied by intense pounding and bloodcurdling screams,
then it's down into the cellar, where a rabid dog springs onto the scene
just prior to visiting the boiler room for a spark emitting encounter with
Freddy
Krueger! Once the notorious Elm St. bully is through with
you, the theme from Halloween foreshadows the next obstacle standing
in your way - Michael Myers! From there it's onto lightless
casket surprises; a triple team monster attack; another voice amplified
conflict, this one with Rob Zombie's favorite clown
Captain Spaulding
and
his chainsaw carrying cohort; and a final group ambush that witnesses many
of the previously encountered villains joining forces with a corrupt
Santa
Claus to lead a frenzied, hell-bent chase-out of Misery Manor.
Analysis:
LENGTH - 7, 9 minutes.
ACTORS - 9, This is a tough call. Much of
the cast is quite intense, and there's several uses of voice synthesizers
that amply scares. Dialogue is well above average and delivery extreme.
However, undersized actors are also present, the best of which appears
in the Michael Myers scare where you're first exposed to a diminutive
killer, then the lights go out and once they're restored you're looking
eye to eye with the full scale version! But others hold back the
score. Total Characters = 19.
SCARINESS - 9, The intense nature of the attraction contributes
to the frightening environment. Repeatedly, innocent appearing scenes
escalate to terrorizing attacks the instant the lights go out, and they're
all accompanied by the loudest, most assaulting music you'll find anywhere.
DESIGN - 8, This is another difficult decision.
Nearly every scene is assaulting in nature, but guides must be utilized
to direct customers from room to room, even to the point of telling them
where to stand in order to experience the next scare. Once everybody's
in place, out go the lights, and the onslaught begins! Although these
guides are nearly as distraught as the cast itself, and actually influence
the already chaotic atmosphere by wildly blowing whistles, and impatiently
shouting orders of where to go, stand, etc., the experience would be more
intimidating if ushers could somehow be eliminated. The course's
short duration is also a limiting factor.
PROPS - 8, Lots of darkness, so detailing isn't all that
extensive. Most memorable are the bedroom surprise, Jack-in-the-box
and the numerous voice synthesizers.
VALUE - 10, Cost of admission is only $5! How can
you go wrong?
RATING: 8½, Ohio Valley Haunts
was very impressed with our first ever visit to Misery Manor.
With an admission price of only $5, this is THE BEST bargain of the season! |
