Ohio Valley Haunts
Reviewed 10/30/07
Haunted River Banks
7842 River Rd./Hebron, KY
(859) 802-5974
$12 + $2 parking
click logo at left to visit their website
THE HAUNTED RIVER BANKS:  A ghost story adventure through the isolated woods along the banks of the Ohio River introduces local folklore legends of evil spirits, malicious murders, and other downright devious acts.  Tales include an area civil war soldier who was beheaded by a confederate mercenary, and still roams the woods in search of his missing skull; the captain of a doomed ship screaming in search of the crew that abandoned him in his time of need; a slave named Jeremiah who donned the clothes of a scarecrow hoping to break away and make a run for freedom, only to be discovered and killed by his disgruntled owner; a witch who cursed the property; a “Priest” who actually turns out to be a messenger of death; The River Hag, Lady in White (Ghost of River Road); and a few others en route to a surprise finish at The Haunted River Banks

LENGTH – 9½, 25 minutes.
ACTORS – 3, The tour guide does a commendable job telling the ghost stories, but others offer little more than a few sudden burst out of the darkness surprises and an occasional “rah!”
SCARINESS – 3, The storytelling is the primary scare, but not overwhelmingly frightening.
DESIGN – 2, A fairly long trail, but unadorned, and devoid of any sort of soundtrack, or supporting substructures.  So much more could be done along the way to compliment the storytelling. 
PROPS – 0, Less than a handful throughout the entire duration of the path.  Scenes reenacting the various recounted events might be a nice touch. 
VALUE – 1, $12 is ridiculously high.  Hearing the ghost stories provides the only value, and they may as well be told around the comfort of a warm campfire, as the trail is undecorated, and provides few other surprises and scares.
RATING:  2½, The attraction itself is unique in the telling of mysterious, spooky ghost stories with a local twist,  but there’s nothing in the way of accompaniment that actually warrants the trek through the woods.  While the narrations are enjoyable, the overall experience might rate higher on the scale of seasonal Halloween entertainment, as opposed to an actual haunted attraction.  The event serves as a fundraiser for the Northern Kentucky Xtreme semi-pro football team, and parking revenues benefit Mikaila Salensky and her family.